A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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