I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
