Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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