Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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