im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
