i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
