Apparently you make a good broom.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
