Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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