just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
