The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
