I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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