they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
