How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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