Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
