If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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