My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
