she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
