TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
