Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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