I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
