just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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