I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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