Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Rumble strips road head = magical
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
