The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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