dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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