oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
