Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
