I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
