I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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