I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
