she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
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