I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
