Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
