I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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