I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
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