So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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