So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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