Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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