But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
