***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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