How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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