what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
These tits shall not be calmed
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
