Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
