Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
