I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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