Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
