How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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