Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
there is glitter all over my balls
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