just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
