i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I need a burrito and a hug.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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