I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
