i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
