Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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